pInK cHaMeLeOn

sebenernya gue suka2 aja kalo singapore ujan begini terus2an..setidaknya hikmah yg bisa gue ambil tuh..singapore jd dingin,itu aja..itu hal positif yg bisa gue dapet..Tapi hal yg paling gue bete’in tu..gue jd bawaannya males aja keluar rumah kalo gini mulu..kalo gue di indo si ga masalah selama transportasi  pribadi di indo yg cukup convinient..masalahnya gue di singapore yang ke mana2 kudu pake transportasi umum yakni bus dan mrt..well mrt ga masalah..bus jg benernya ga masalah asal uda jejakin kaki di dalem busnya.Tapi yg jd factor yg uncovinient itu kan masalah jalan kaki dr rumah ke bus stop.Jarak dr gerbang rumah ampe bus stop kan juga takes time and energy,unless kalo pake jasa taxi..Well… u know ongkos naek taxi tuh bisa buat makan di food court sekali ato dua kali.Sebelnya kalo uda ujan begini;badan kita semua kena cipratan ujan walau uda pake payung..kecuali kalo pake payung berdiameter sebesar tutupan sumur.lame.

Andai cuaca panas juga..tetep aja tu panas  yg super menyengat ala singapore nembus jg walau da pake payung..singapore..singapore..kenapa si lu nyusahin banget..

Kenapa sih dia kudu muncul tiba2 d saat gue sudah mulai tuk melupakan segala sesuatunya..saat2 di mana kita selalu ada satu sama lainnya tuk saling menopang dan menghibur..di saat suka dan duka..hingga pada akhirnya dia pun berpihak akan keputusan yg bener2 bikin gue ancur berantakan..

Keputusan yang amat berat tentunya..Suatu janji yang gue buat haruslah gue tepati..Janji tuk melepaskannya…Janji tuk tak mengingat bahkan ku harus melupakan hal2 yang sudah terlewati begitu jauh..Sayang memang..Tapi gue ga mau badan dan pikiran gue ini digerogoti oleh kisah2 indahnya yang bagi dia justru membahagiakannya tetapi dia tak tahu kalau dia sedang menghancurkan pikiran dan perasaan gue perlahan2 tetapi pasti..Saat itu gue menyadari waktunya sudah genap bagi gue tuk menyelesaikan segala sesuatunya..

Hati gue terpecah menjadi dua kubu.di mana salah satunya gue merasakan gue seharusnya mempertahankannya walau konsekuensi yang gue dapet adalah: kesakitan dan kelelahan yang mungkin juga berujung 2 jalan,yang salah satunya:gue bisa merelakan atau gue akan terpuruk dgn situasi yg menyakitkan ato worst;Kubu sisanya gue merasakan gue memang harus melupakan dia tuk waktu jangka yang amat panjang yang tak pernah terlihat ujungnya..

Di satu masa di mana akhirnya gue memutuskan tuk melepaskan dia karena gue ga mau hidup dengan ketidakpastian yang entah di mana ujungnya..Keputusan yang terberat dalam hidup gue..ya..karena gue ingin hidup tenang tanpa mendengar namanya ataupun kehidupan pribadinya..
Gue pun sadari..Dia sanggup bertahan tanpa bantuanku..tanpa hidupku..tanpa pribadiku..Gue pun menyadari gue bukanlah ekstasi hidupnya..gue harus berhenti..Kulepas dia tuk temukan jalannya yang terindah tanpa diriku..

Ps:Maaf temanku..Gue ingin selalu yang terbaik buat lo..Gue ingin lo tetap bersamanya..Jangan kecewakan gue krn elo uda ambil keputusan itu..

well..life goes on…goes on..goes on..and never ends..so does a friendship.[well..this is one of my best quotes]

But..that would depend on what your way of perceptions. We always hear that good friendship would be a long-lasting kind of relationship they bind together.But you know..that sometimes it fails….Life changes and so do people…

I have to rethink again and realize in the end of my mind story.Everything in this world is not my own but in God’s hand. None is immortal.Well..its hard to take but i believe that someday i will get paid from it.

And now what i really want to say that someone has been ‘taken’ by someone else.and now i feel like that someone else is really truly disaster to me.[someone refers to one of my best friend]I can’t tell much here.Only me and my lovely sopi know.well..God does^^..Hmm..i hope everything would be alright and i’m still hoping that i am in my dream and now i’m still unconscious here and i will wake up tomorrow and nothing happens.Everything goes normal like usual.Nothing to worry about.

well..is it a big matter to me?No..its not.its just a small crack.

something that really haunted me..none of those creepy things or whatsoever..i felt so terrible in it..can’t imagine..as if i live in the world without movements, rhythms nor voices..These are what i felt today..When i was nobody,senseless,and empty..noone there for me,but him.i just can’t live without him.maybe he’s right in terms of these condition i live in.

Maybe its time for me to recognize what the word’lonely’ is. The situation will tell and teach you how to survive from it.I have to defeat myself and try to be more aware of the surroundings.thanks to him for always be there for me whenever i need to.love you,dear..

Well..td pagi gue bersama sopi membersihkan rumah..cukup cepet juga si ari ini..heuheuhee..siang td g cabut ama cotton candy ke parkway dolo..haha..cotton candy ama sweet kedondong berjalan beriringan sepanjang ari ini..haha..kadang gue mikir..waktu pas diploma ga separah sekarang..yg namanya waktu hang out aja susa banget nyari the right time nya!!!doh..Td lunch di koo khee dumpling di parkway tu sebelah food court bawah..wah..lumayan tuhhh..hehehe..Oh ya..td sempet mengalami 15 menit kebencian di SHaw Towers*ato apalah nama tuh gedung*,gue ama yessi sempet dipermainkan ama taxi..gelo..uda bagus kita tunggu di tempat agak pinggiran buat cari taxi.eh malah tu taxi minggir di depan gedung..pas ada taxi kita lari ke depan gedung,ehhh malah tu taxi ke pinggiran..kentut!!akhirnya nyebrang jalan aja tuh jdnya..Thanks Lord,akhirnya dapet taxi juga..haha..si cotton candy ngetawain g gara2 aksi gue nyetop taxi..*emang gue segelo itu kah?*hahaha..gue emang td tuh bener2 takut keilangan tu taxi..saat itu,taxi2 bener2 precious banget..hahahhaa..

Td ntn JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE..wah..mayan juga pelemnya..kocak juga..whahaha..apalgi pas adegan si john nangis ga jelas gara2 kebanyakan minum obat tuk hormon wanita*yg sengaja dibubuhin gitu*hahhaha…en adegan co2 di fakultas itu pake THONG!gara2 si tucker dikerjain..hahaha..konyol..my lovely cotton candy ajak g makan di cheesecake cafe di east coast rd gitu..enak deh..suasananya jg asik banget..victorian era gitu^^..musti singgah lagi nieh laen kali..heuuehue..well..td jg tak lupa tuh photobox juga di cine..kali ini better deh..*menurut gue jga*..LAen kali kita musti photo lagi nieh,yes..menguji kemahiran kita juga..hahhahaa..Pokonya ari ini cape tp bener2 FUN banget..Hehehe..

get bored..oh please..someone..please let me out of hereeee…i wannaaa  gooo homeeeee(sick)..can’t help anymoreeee…

-pause-

rushing…rushing…to the end of half-pathway.Final jury will come soon..and amazingly…i haven’t done anything..till now..oh no..guess what…today i went to mall instead and do my sort of must-ritual thing..as always..as a money spender..sigh…i bought that pants..well..i want it that bad..bwhahaha..i kept starring my eyes on that stuff..LOL..

Not that bad,though..and yet its a guilty pleasure to me..now i had esprit membership card..this promotion will end soon..if u purchase for S$150 in a single receipt,the card will be yours.besides,i got the discount pack..which is i received 10%-30% discount for bag,cosmetic,or any regular price items ..its worth to apply though..hehe..and u’ll received 20% discount as birthday gift in your birthday month…*blink2*..

thats it..what do u expect from the story?Nothing still exists there anymore…its gone..

"u will never realize till its over..u will not understand till i left .."

gue lagi suka banget lagu ini nieh..frozen by madonna..keren banget..dan tepatnya lagi menggambarkan suasana hati gue saat ini..kayanya berasa gue uda ancur banget berkeping2..cuman gara2 satu hal..hal penting..yg sebenernya ga perlu terjadi..tp udah telat..i just realized..i have ruined my whole plan..sudahlah..nvm..i open my new page..the beginning of my new story..

well..walau bagaimanapun..gue udah merasa puas,ngerasa bangga dgn apa yg uda gue lakuin..walau pada akhirnya gagal..gue masi bisa terima kok..mungkin ini sudah destinynya begini..gue sempet hopeless..merasa tolol banget saat ituh..but..now..gue berusaha tuk berdiri lagi dr pecahan2 lembaran hidup gue yg terakir…ga perlu gue lanjutin lagi..

Lagian uda ga penting lagi gue buat kecewa,waktu gue udah abis..

gue cuman mau bilang"….bertahanlah…selalu yg terbaik buat kalian..thanks for everything..and don’t look for me from now on…"

Jury was over!!hoop hoop huurrayy…i celebrated it..LOL..But surprisingly,i got one rumour..its not kind of rumour actually..but i just did happen..about the thing..i was shocked..how could she..??

Oh no!What the..??!!i hope i can speak japanese or another language in this blog.so ppl won’t understand what im saying here..bah!..ok..i won’t tell u here,but i will put my blog on my MTV club ..i just applied  the membership by yesterday..aha!u bet..but i really deserve to "menuangkan" all the shits on my mind,though..!!*grin*

By the way.i were really enjoying my time with yessi today..we went to Plaza Sing, just to hang out and watched movie[Underworld Evolution]..its great movie..comparing with Van Helsing,Underworld is still have good rank ..i think..

no more to say-ayumi hamasaki..

to be continued on mtv blog!